I admit it, I’m over protective
But I would rather be over protective than under protective and regretful. I just finished watching an episode of Oprah about child sex offenders. These men all knew the children they molested. Family members or close friends. I don’t remember the exact statistic they said but I believe it was 90% of victims know their abuser. People are sick and twisted, there is no question about that.
Being mom to a young daughter, unfortunately i think about these things. She is innocent and does not know about evil people and cannot fathom that there are people who would want to hurt her. Its my job to keep it that way. No, I would not leave her with a babysitter who I did not know. She was 18 months before I left her with anyone who was not family. And even then it was because I had surgery and needed the help, but I was there with her most of the time. And she was someone who came highly recommended from family.
I am mainly skeeved about diaper changes. There are only a very very limited number of people who I feel need to be seeing her privates. So even if it’s me changing her, I’m cautious about who is around, I don’t do it if there are people around who can look. Because, again, people are SICK. I don’t like lap-sitting for the most part either, depends on the person, but again the number of people is very small. It makes me uncomfortable.
I want to raise her to be strong and have a voice and a mouth and be very familiar with the word NO (though she seems to have that one down pat). Yes, I will teach her all about staying away from strangers, but there are a lot of non-strangers that can be worse. I will have to find the balance between making her aware and cautious without making her fearful and nervous.
One of the most important things that I heard in the Oprah show was from one of the sex offenders he said (I’m paraphrasing) ‘if a child says they were molested, believe them, kids don’t lie about this’. That really struck a nerve with me. I can’t imagine ever not believing Alexis if she told me anything happened to her, but I know it happens. People don’t want to cause trouble in families or think the kids are looking for attention. I know that if she ever told me anything like that, I would not be responsible for my actions towards the person.
I would rather question people and their intentions than be too trusting because you just never know.
Is your kid perfect?
Because I know that mine is not. Of course she is perfect in my eyes 
I know she has her moments. All kids do. All adults do too! She is a toddler after all. She has tantrums and meltdowns, issues sleeping, etc. It’s normal. When she was little, there were issues with feeding and crying and just general baby stuff.
I think its so important to have a good support system when these things arise. People to talk to. To vent your frustrations to. That’s why I love being part of a message board filled with other mommies like me. We can vent and share our frustrations and get help, or at least get sympathy. It’s a place where I don’t feel like I should be judged because I know that I wouldn’t.
Why do I bring this up? Because lately I’ve noticed something. The “perfect kid” syndrome. There are those moms (this also applies to facebook and real life) who like to pretend that everything is puppies and rainbows. All we ever hear from them is bragging. Bragging about how wonderful their kid is, or how he or she did such a cute thing the other day. They will be the first ones to jump on and offer advice from their vast experience of raising a perfect child(ren). Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing wrong with bragging about your kids or sharing cute stories, but I really think that needs to be tempered with the reality that is parenthood. Life, actually. Kids are not always perfect, life is not always perfect. It’s messy and full of potholes and surprises that come out of nowhere. That’s why I love having people I know I can talk to and be open with and be frustrated. The same people I can share good news with and cute pictures and funny stories. It’s real.
So, for those who think that you will be judged or who feel like you can only share the good stuff, i encourage you to open up. It’s cathartic to talk to others. Who knows, someone may be able to have just the rights words of wisdom. Or someone may have been exactly where you are and they can say, “i understand”. Believe me, by not venting, you’re not fooling anyone. Because no one has that perfect of a life, so everyone knows that you’re just trying to be someone you’re not.
The diplomacy of kiddie parties
Alexis’ 2nd birthday is coming up, along with that comes the Birthday Party. Last year was easy b/c I wanted to make it low key, no need to have a huge party for me, b/c she would not enjoy it. This year is a different story. I’m doing a bigger party, more friends, more theme-y, etc. I’m pretty excited about everything.
Except the guest list.
The first wave was easy, my friends. The ones I really like, whose company I enjoy. Most have kids, but some don’t. Those were a no-brainer. Then there are the others. The ones I feel I have to invite for a variety of reasons. 1. I was invited to their kids party so I feel it’s only right to return the invitation. 2. They are friends of friends I am inviting and it would be odd to invite a group of friends minus one. It would be awkward and I don’t like to make people feel left out. 3. The ones I’m friends with out of obligation, you know the ones. I’ve been friends with them for a long time, or the person I see often enough at social occasions but don’t really like and yet need to invite anyway.
I’m fortunate in that 95% of the people I’m inviting and genuinely people I want to invite, but then there are those few who I know I have to, so I will suck it up and do it.
I will sound like an infomercial in this post
I don’t usually post tips here, however I have stumbled upon something that is so amazing it deserves its own post. As anyone with a young child knows, stains are a part of life. I live with them. I have Shout and it gets stains out most of the time, or at least makes them less noticeable. Recently, Alexis had gotten a shirt of hers stained with watermelon. This is one of the most difficult things to get out and i have thrown out more than one shirt because of it. This particular shirt was still relatively new and part of an outfit, and one of my favorites so i was very upset. I sprayed with Shout and washed. It was still there. I sprayed it and left it overnight to soak, then washed it – still there!! I was getting frustrated. I wasn’t putting it in the dryer because I knew that would be the end of the shirt. I went in search of a better spray. While at the store i saw OxiClean stain remover, I decided to give it a try. I get it home, spray the stain and let it sit for 10 minutes as per the directions, I wash it and voila! it’s gone! Totally clean. The stain is gone, not just diminished. I was shocked. Needless to say I a,m a believer in the commercials now. i have used it a few more times on other stains and each time, it’s worked!!
So, I highly recommend this product for anyone who has a frequent stain issue!!!
The importance of shoes.
I am a shoe-holic, or is it shoe-a-holic? Whatever. What is it about shoes that women love so much, I’ll clue you in on the secret. They always fit. Of course there are exceptions to this, but I can gain 5 pounds and my jeans will be tight, but my shoes, they still fit. No judgment from them. I can usually be seen wearing flip flops. I love them and have endless pairs. I have all kinds, casual hanging out ones, and nicer going out ones. I have cheap Target ones and I have Coach and Stuart Weitzman ones, I love them all equally and wear them all. They make me happy. They’re comfortable, easy to put on and take off and I can always show off my pedicure! I am fortunate to live in South Florida so I can wear flip flops year round, except for a few cold days.
But, flip flops are not always appropriate foot wear. For those times when they are not it’s time for fancy shoes. And nothing makes me feel better than wearing a pair of fabulous super high heels. I am short so I have always preferred my heels high. Even for my wedding I went with a pair of 4″ heels. They are not always comfortable, but always worth it. Since I don’t own as many heels as flip flops, I do tend to buy pricey ones. I have the usual variety of strappy heels, closed toe, black, ivory, and the one impractical fuchsia strappy heels. I love looking at them in my closet. I do have a particular fondness for Stuart Weitzman. I have quite a few of those, including the afore-mentioned wedding shoes. I just got my first pair of Manolos and I’m waiting for the perfect occasion to wear them! My dream shoes are Mary Jane heels, I have been searching for just the right pair for a long time and haven’t found them yet. They’re either too low, or the heel is too chunky, I know I sound like Goldilocks, but it’s true. I will keep searching until I find ones that are just right. When I wear these fancy shoes, I know I have them on, even if no one else does. It makes me feel sexier, walk taller, and I’m happy
Then there are the in-betweens. The low heels that can be worn casually with a pair of jeans or with dress pants. These shoes are very important. They can dress up an outfit or be dressy enough when needed without the discomfort of the heels. I have these in lots of colors. They are all basically the same – strappy sandal types. They get a lot of use with me. As I mentioned, I’m short so I do like to wear at least a small heel when I go out to make me a little taller.
I also have a million sneakers, but not because I work out a lot, it’s just a side effect of having worked for a tennis tournament for almost 10 years. And I also have a few closed toe flats, these are my least favorite but sometimes necessary.
I know not everyone has this obsession with shoes. Some people like purses, sunglasses, clothes, etc. But, me? Shoes are my vice. The thing that I would spend a lot of money on and not feel guilty. For me they are a necessity and they are important to my psyche. They can cheer me up. Even when they hurt, they make me happy!!!
Directing your attention…
My friend Canewife who is a blogger friend as well as a real life friend, has recently made some changes to her blog and I wanted to direct your attention over to her because I think she’s awesome She is the mom of a toddler, as well as 3 pugs. She has begun adding fabulous craft ideas, recipes, and tips to her blog. So for all of us who want some super cute crafty things to do with our little ones, check her out. You can also see crafts for the home, mommy tips, and more. I get great ideas from her and you know what they say, sharing is caring…
A new decade has begun… can we go back?
This is a blog post I didn’t think I would be writing. This is not a reality I thought I would be facing. It should not be. People my age should not be widows. It’s not right. Little 2 year old boys should not lose fathers. Something in the universe did not work properly yesterday to allow this to happen.
My friend Gary had been battling Lymphoma courageously and had completed his course of chemo. He was declared basically cancer-free. He and his wife, Samantha believed they were in the home stretch of their battle.
Until Christmas Day. Of all days.
Samantha had to take Gary to the ER believing that he was suffering from dehydration and needed IV fluids. Never in her worst nightmares did she think that he would not walk out of the hospital, like he had done numerous times before. Nothing prepared her for the week that would follow. Gary was taken from the ER to ICU in kidney failure and diagnosed with pneumonia. He did not show symptoms of being so sick. The night before he was having fun at a Christmas Eve celebration with friends! It came out of left field. From there the roller coaster began- no need to detail the ups and downs that would become the way of life for Sam in the coming week. She spent the final minutes of 2009 holding his hand welcoming in a new year, a new decade. When she went home, she believed that New Year’s Day would be a new day. She did not imagine the phone would ring in the early dawn hours. She did not expect the call from the hospital to come right away.
When my phone rang before 7am and I saw the caller ID, I knew it wasn’t good. I was at the hospital in minutes. As I was walking into ICU as I had done several times in the past week, I heard it. I heard crying. Not just sad cries. The cries of something tragic. I knew. I didn’t need to be told. My friend Sam had just become a widow, Gary’s mother had lost her only child. They, along with Sam’s mom, were destroyed. It was a terrible scene.
Now the really hard part begins for Sam. Planning a funeral for her 33 year-old husband. Picking up the pieces. Starting a new life as a single mom. Raising her son without his dad. I, along with so many other friends, will be by her side helping to support her and helping her figure out her new place, but it will not be easy. And it’s not something that I thought that one of my friends would have to go through.
Gary will be missed. He was very smart, funny, caring, kind. He was a wonderful husband to Samantha and an excellent father to Mikey.
Disney Recap
This was the 6th year that Marc and I had been to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas and the 2nd time for Alexis. We started a tradition the first year we went of buying an ornament and having it personalized with our names, we have gotten one every year since. We brought along the 2 grandmothers this year, my mom and marc’s mom. My mom had come with us last year but it was the first time for marc’s mom. This year was a lot more fun for Alexis than last year. She loves Playhouse Disney and Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, etc. As soon as we got close to the park she started seeing the Disney logo everywhere and yelling “MINNIE! MICKEY!” This continued in the park. She absolutely loved everything we saw and did. She was mesmerized by It’s a Small World and was just pointing and looking at everything. The carousel was another big hit. She kept saying “mas, mas” (more) b/c she wanted to keep riding. Minnie’s house was also a lot of fun. She sat at Minnie’s table and “had tea” she loved opening the fridge. But, the most fun thing was watching the cake rise and fall in the oven continually. Every time the cake fell, she would say, “uh-oooh”. Over and over. We were cracking up. When she met Minnie, she nuzzled up to her. She loved her, it was so sweet. Unfortunately the line for Mickey was waaaaay too long so we didn’t wait. We went to eat at the Cosmic Cafe where they have a DJ and Pluto and Goofy were there dancing. Alexis loved it. She was not shy at all, pushed her way past all the bigger kids, shaking her butt and poked Pluto in the back so that he would turn around and dance with her. I kid you not. Then when she was dancing with Goofy she bent down and touched his foot, almost like making sure he was real.
The fireworks show which is honestly the real reason that i continue to go year after year was amazing. Alexis also was mesmerized and kept saying “ooooh” to all the pretty lights.We went into more than one store and she would just run from one thing to the next, picking up all the stuffed toys and hugging them. We are now the proud owners of a lot of Disney stuff – a Tinkerbell light up spinning thing (I’m sure it has a better name), several t-shirts, a Minnie purse, a huge Mickey and Minnie – most of this wwas thanks to my mom, except the large Mickey which was Marc’s mom, we also got her countless stickers, or “stickies” as she calls them, which are her new obsession. By this point she was getting very very tired and cranky. She had not napped at all, we had hoped she would sleep in the car on the drive up but that didn’t happen. So she passed out in her stroller around 10:30. If she hadn’t fallen asleep the plan was that the grandmas would have taken her back to the hotel early. We went on a few more adult rides, picked up our ornament, had some cookies and hot chocolate, by the time the park closed at midnight we were dragging and ready for bed.
The hotel was another story. We thought it would be nice to stay in a cabin in Ft Wilderness so we could all stay together. Eh, not so much. I guess it’s nice if you have a big family and are staying for a while, but for an overnight I didn’t like it. It’s definitely rustic. Not awful, I have stayed in much worse places. The transportation is a bit time consuming. There are buses that take you around the resort itself. We take a bus from our cabin to the docks where we then board a ferry for the Magic Kingdom. By the time we did the reverse and got back to our hotel, it was after 1am. Alexis thankfully fell right back to sleep after I put her in her PJs and put her down in the pack n play. I didn’t think she would sleep in there but she did, she must have been so exhausted that she would have slept anywhere!
So the next day we headed to Downtown Disney for some (more) shopping. Marc and I got our fix at the candy store of the chocolate covered marshmallows. Those are so good. I’m going to have to learn to make them, how tough can it be really?
So all in all we had a wonderful trip. And it was so different to be able to see everything with Alexis, it really makes the Magic Kingdom more magical.
No shortcuts in my cooking
I’ve tried. Really, I have. I have tried to use the boxes and cans and the jars and it doesn’t work for me, I can’t do it. I taste the difference and it just doesn’t feel right to me. I love cooking. I enjoy spending an afternoon making a homemade meat sauce for my lasagna. I think my caesar dressing is better than any I’ve had at a restaurant. Mac n cheese is so easy to make from scratch – why use a box – same steps, boil, add ingredients, and stir. No need for salsa from a jar when fresh ingredients are readily available. Cooking like this takes longer, I know that, but it’s also more enjoyable to me. I guess if i didn’t like cooking then I wouldn’t want to spend MORE time in the kitchen, but to me, it’s relaxing and enjoyable.
I did recently try to streamline my processes in the name of brevity and it did not work. I made stuffing one night as a side dish. I got a box of stuffing – very popular brand that is made on a stove top – figuring it must be good b/c this is what people use all the time!! Well – it was inedible. I could not do it. I even added some embellishments to it and still the bread was mush and had a processed taste. Don’t get me started on Mashed Potatoes. I love mashed potatoes, but can taste a mix from a mile away. This, too, I can’t fathom – using re-hydrated potato flakes and calling it mashed potatoes. This is one dish that is time consuming, and a lot of work – peeling, boiling, mashing is labor intensive but so worth it in the end! There is no mystery meat in my pork dumplings or fried rice. I know the grocery stores are full of things that make our life easier – the pork and chicken come already marinated, ground beef is pre-made into hamburger patties, etc. I can appreciate how this does save time and makes it possible for people to make dinner at home every night. For me, I want to know and choose exactly what goes into a marinade, I want to add the spices for my cheeseburger, I don’t need a packet of seasoning for meatloaf, I have everything I need in my pantry and fridge.
If you were to look in my pantry you will see my attempts – i have jars of pasta sauce, the canister of remaining stuffing mix, and more. I may use them again one night (not the stuffing) to see how the sauces are, but more than likely they will sit there. I don’t judge others for their time-savers in the kitchen. I don’t turn my nose up at jar pasta sauces. It’s just not my choice. I cook the way I do b/c I enjoy it. It makes me happy to have a finished product that people really like eating and I know that it was made by me, the way i wanted it t come out. I also think part of it was how I grew up. My dad is the same way I am. He loves cooking and making big elaborate meals, he’s a great cook. That’s what I was used to. That wore off on me. i hope to pass along my love of cooking to my daughter – i would love for her to grow up as my sous chef and use cooking as a way to relax. It’s true what so many chefs say – you can taste the difference when food is made with love and I like to think that my food is made that way!!
And I don’t mind sharing any of my tips or recipes – feel free to ask!!
Taking the entrepreneurial plunge
I know I haven’t blogged in a loooooong time so I’m going to try and make up for that in the next week. First a short post. I have started a website and a new business. While the baking isn’t new, I’m adding to it by doing cupcake decorating parties. I really really think that this is something that is going to be very popular and will be popping up in the near future so I’m trying to get ahead of the curve. My long term plan is to make enough money so that i can open up a store and bake and host parties there in addition to doing them on location.
I’m very excited. I am also proud of myself. In addition to actually coming up with the idea and starting the business, I did the logo design and web design myself. I have definitely learned a lot and now let the real fun begin – getting the word out
Introducing Painted Sugar
