The Leisure Time of a Mom
As I was catching up on my DVR last night, I came across an episode of Dr. Phil which was very interesting. There was a study conducted by a sociologist at the University of Maryland which claims that moms have an extra 30-40 hours of leisure time a week!! HUH? He counts things that I would not necessarily include in “leisure time”. Things like waiting for a tow truck, going to the dentist, etc doesn’t that sound leisurely? Normally I would think that leisure time involves a beach, a frozen drink, a cabana boy to bring me said drink, and someone trustworthy watching my daughter so that I can actually relax!!!!
I am a stay at home mom. Relaxing right? No need to wake up early, get dressed, schlep my daughter to school, sit in traffic, work, then do it all backwards? My “job” is taking care of my 2 year old. I am on call all the time. It does not end. The time that I can sneak away to check emails is peppered with calls of “Mommy!!!” or little hands on the keyboard. Maybe I can check emails or facebook from my iphone right? Well, as soon as she sees me pull that out, she wants to play with it – so out of my hands it goes. Getting her dressed is a battle, getting myself dressed is done with one ear constantly making sure I don’t hear any crashes or screaming from the other room where she’s playing. Driving in a car included listening to Mickey or Laurie Berkner, don’t get me wrong, I love Laurie but I really do miss driving along singing to MY music! Then there are the books strewn around the back of my car which she wants. I go shopping!! that’s leisure right? Pushing a stroller through a mall at warp speed. if I’m lucky I can avert her eyes to something else while we pass the Disney Store or Build A Bear otherwise the screaming ensues and invariably we walk out with a new Mickey “thing” or a new bear. IF I get to shop for myself it’s while entertaining her with stickers, snacks, or my iphone. making sure she doesn’t grab things off racks, this is all if she’s in a good mood. If she’s not is a good mood – all bets are off. I will normally just have to hightail it out of the mall while she is screaming and trying to imitate houdini and escape from her stroller. I also get to eat out – yay!? No leisurely lunch for me anymore. Hurrying to order for me and for Alexis. Keeping her entertained with crayons or whatever until the food arrives. First getting her food ready, making sure it’s not too hot, cutting things into toddler sized pieces. Then I scarf down my food with half my attention on her, my mommy reflexes always on edge ready to jump and prevent any spills or splashes, or if it’s a really fun lunch – anything from being launched. Ok she’s done eating, let’s get the check, clean her off and go. That was so relaxing!!!!
Back home. Play time again. This is where I can maybe jump on the computer again with the “mommy!” cries in the background or the little hands on the keyboard. Then it’s naptime. Ahhhhh. Nap time. Time for me to relax!!!! Wait – what’s that I hear? Oh she doesn’t want to sleep. She’s wants up. But she’s so tired, why won’t she just fall asleep!!??!! Ok so an hour later of tears, bribes, rocking, singing, and sometimes driving in a car she is asleep. Ok, now I can relax. But I’m so terrified of waking her that I need to make sure that any TV I watch is so low that I almost need to read lips. And I really do need to get around to the laundry and washing the dishes, and oh yeah maybe catch up on a tv show also. No matter what I’m doing I am always listening to the monitor and therefore my “leisure time” is always tempered with the knowledge that at best she will sleep for 3 hours, but more than likely it will be 2 hours.
She’s up. This is usually the most difficult part of the day. From the time she wakes up from her nap until bedtime. She still wants to play but is usually more cranky than the pre-nap hours. I have to figure out what’s for dinner and try to cook while keeping her away from anything that could be dangerous in the kitchen. When Marc is in town he will come home right before dinner time so then there are 2 of us. When he’s home he will handle her bath after dinner while I clean up the kitchen and table. If he’s not home, then it’s all me. Then bedtime. This is unpredictable. She can be a great sleeper and go right to sleep, but then there are other nights where it’s a battle of wills and could take up to an hour to fall asleep. An hour much like nap time, she doesn’t just lie there contentedly listening to music when she doesn’t want to be there. Most of the time she falls asleep with no problem, but every few months there is a phase, it lasts anywhere from 10 days – 2 weeks where it’s every night that she cries and does not want to sleep. Last night, I was alone with her and by the time she fell asleep it was 9:20. Usually I don’t eat dinner with her, I wait until she’s asleep. So last night, I found myself having a PB&J at 9:30. Then trying to straighten up the house. And, hey maybe a shower. That’s leisure right? Yeah I’m laughing too. The shower with the monitor on the bathroom counter. Then and only then can I relax finally. Again, always with the monitor and always listening. So, I stay up late because it’s the only quiet time I get just for me.
Even sleep is not the same anymore. I’m sure that all moms can attest to this. Once you become a mom, you just don’t sleep as soundly because part of your subconscious is always listening to the monitor, ready to spring up at any moment. Hopefully, she sleeps fitfully and fully through the night, but hey you never know. She could wake up in the middle of the night and go right back to sleep or she may not. I may bring her to bed with me because I’m too tired to fight this battle and then I have little feet kicking me and sleep is definitely compromised. So, you see, even when I can do things “of leisure” it’s not really. It’s always in little snippets and with a million other things floating around in my brain.
What about vacations or when I go out to dinner with a friend? Well, not the same either. Gone are the carefree days of really getting away. Because, I am always thinking of Alexis and what she should be doing at the time or if she’s ok. I will get calls and texts with updates and/or questions. So, even those times when i do get away, my mind is not completely away. I may not have a “job”, but I definitely work. My job is a 24 hour a day one. One that will be like this for as long as I can imagine. So, please clarify your 30-40 hours of leisure time a week that I week, Mr. Sociologist, I’m not sure that you fully understand the job of a mom.
Vacation journal – CA Wine Country and Canadian Rockies
I know I haven’t blogged in a long time, but I some very good excuses!! We moved into our new house (pics to follow in a future post), we were out of town for 10 days (subject of this post).
Marc had a conference in Sonoma, CA followed a week later by one in Banff, Canada so we decided to make a vacation out of it. It was wonderful!!
CALIFORNIA: It was hot, hot, hot in Sonoma and Napa. I’m talking 102 degrees hot. Dry heat that makes your skin feel like it’s cracking. But only during the day. At night and in the mornings was cool enough that I needed a jacket and long sleeves. We stayed in Sonoma at the conference hotel – nothing special but it was not bad. We arrived on a Thursday into San Francisco and rented a car, stopped in Sausalito for lunch and some walking around. Marc realized that he forgot his jacket so we also stopped to buy him a new one. Our first night in Sonoma we went to John Ash & Co. for dinner – it was amazing!! I wish I could have been more awake. After being awake until very late the night before and only sleeping for 3 hours b/c of an early flight then factoring in the 3 hour time change, I was ready to put my head down on the table and nap. The food really was excellent though! The next day, Marc worked in the morning and I slept. My fantasies about going to a spa were quickly taken over by my exhaustion. I relaxed in our room – read a bit, and slept off and on until he was done working around 3. We then headed to Healdsburg mainly b/c my favorite winery has its tasting room there – La Crema. It is a cute and charming little town. We walked around for a bit, had some wine then went back to our hotel. For dinner we went to Johnny Garlic’s – the restaurant co-owned by Food Network’s Guy Fieri. I am a huge fan of his so I had to try it out. Loved it! It’s family style casual but with an upscale feel. The menu selections are what you would expect at a family style restaurant, but with a twist. We asked our waitress about Guy and she said that he is in the restaurant all the time. He lives in the same town so whenever he’s in town he goes in. Apparently very nice and friendly. Saturday we spent touring the Sonoma County wineries. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant in the town of Sonoma. We switched hotels to one that was a little closer to the wineries. For dinner we drove back into Sonoma and ate at The Girl and The Fig – one of the better known Sonoma restaurants and one both of us had been to before. It did not disappoint – food was excellent. Sunday we went to the Napa wineries and then drove back to San Francisco and had a casual dinner at a Chinese place near our hotel.
Monday was a wasted day. We flew to Calgary via Dallas. Long day of flying. Seemed silly to go all the way to Dallas to come back up to Calgary but that was the only option. We got into Calgary late and just rented a car and went to our hotel – all 3 of our meals that day were either in an airport or bought at an airport and eaten on a plane – yum.
CANADA: Tuesday we slept in a little and then headed out of town. On the way however, we stopped at Olympic Park – the home of the 1988 Winter Olympics, some events anyway. It was neat to see. They have the ski jump towers, luge and bobsled tracks, downhill tracks, etc. Very neat. It was a bit of a ghost town because they had closed for summer and were waiting for winter. After that we headed to Lake Louise. We stopped in Banff for lunch on the way at Melissa’s – a yummy little place that is apparently a Banff legend, it was very good and we were starving. After our quick lunch we headed on to lake Louise. The scenery is amazing. So different from what we are accustomed to seeing in S. Florida. We arrived in Lake Louise just in time for the snow to start – flurries at first then a bit harder. It wasn’t cold enough for it to stick but it was so cool to see. We were staying at the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise – one of the most breathtaking hotels I’ve ever seen. It reminded me a bit of the Overlook from the Shining and if there was a haunted hotel, this was it for sure. We had a suite that was dead center in the back of the hotel facing the lake, we had a beautiful, uninterrupted view of the whole lake and the glacier that feeds it. We walked around the hotel a little then went to a restaurant at the hotel for dinner, Walliser Stube, a Swiss fondue place. I know you’re thinking fondue? Like Melting Pot? No. This is the 5 star totally kicked up version of fondue. The concept is similar but so so so much better – there was nothing left when we were done!!!!
The next morning we walked around the lake about halfway. The weather was beautiful – crisp and clear. The color of the lake is a beautiful aquamarine. We then headed up to Jasper. First we stopped at Lake Moraine which was just down the hill from Lake Louise. It was freezing. It was so beautiful there that I really wanted to spend more time but it was so cold and the wind so biting that I just couldn’t, I had to get out of there after not too long. We then drove to jasper via the Icefields Parkway, the only road to and from Lake Louise and Jasper. It is a 2 lane road that cuts through the Canadian Rockies. This road is impassable in the winter, with avalanche warnings every few miles. Along the way there are glaciers that reach down from high in the Colombia icefields, huge evergreens, beautiful oaks that were changing and were a beautiful gold color, aquamarine lakes and rivers, waterfalls, and snow. We began to see the snow gathering on the pines and firs – Christmas Trees! We stopped many times along the way to take pictures. As we drove into Jasper, we spotted some elk along the side of the highway just hanging out. We then went to our hotel – another Fairmont, this time the Fairmont Jasper Lodge. Very different – more of a log cabin inspired resort. One main building and various outbuildings. We had a suite on the far end of the property with a fireplace. Before we went to dinner we tried unsuccessfully to start a fire. We ate at the hotel, The Moose’s Nook Grill, this was a restaurant with regional cuisine – lots of seafood and meat. It was very very good – one of the best meals we had eaten to date on the trip. My maple glazed salmon on a bed of barley was amazing!!!! After dinner we asked a guy at the concierge desk to help us start a fire and he gladly helped so we had a fire going in our room 🙂
Thursday we began our drive back to Banff. This time we stopped at a few spots to sightsee. Athabasca Falls, Sunwapta Falls and we did the Colombia Icefields tour. This tour takes you from the visitors center to the Athabasca glacier. We have to go on a specially designed bus with massive wheels. Once there, the temperature was about 15 degrees Fahrenheit. Freezing. And slippery. We were on ice high up in the mountain. It was spectacular though. We then continued on towards Banff. Our last hotel (so we thought) for the trip was yet another fairmont – this time the famed Fairmont Banff Springs. Marc checked us in and I was on the phone. When we was finished he came over to me with the good news – they had upgraded us to the Presidential Suite!! He said the woman who checked him in was surprised too when she saw it. This is a 1500 sq ft room, high up in the hotel with a private elevator entrance. I think we were in shock. The room was huge and spacious, the view was just unbelievable, 360 degrees, the largest room in the hotel and the highest point, also the most expensive, the front desk told us it normally goes for$3500 a night!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once we thoroughly inspected the room we headed out to the town of Banff for dinner. The Maple Leaf Grill was another regional cuisine restaurant that served up seafood and meats – we loved it 🙂
Friday was a workday for Marc. I headed into town for a bit of overpriced shopping. Banff is a lovely little ski town with a main street filled with shops specially designed for tourists. Souvenirs, crappy art, and fudge shops. We only brought home things for Alexis, didn’t even buy ourselves anything. It was cold and snowy but I really enjoyed walking up and down the streets and stopping in the stores. Marc had a lunch break so we went to a Greek place for some souvlaki. Then it was back to work for him and I went up to our room to relax and do some reading. Once he finished, we headed back into town for a bit before dinner. We had both read and heard about a restaurant called Bison and were told it was excellent, so we decided to go there for dinner. The rumors were right – it was very good. The place focused on locally and regionally grown organic foods and it was so fresh and delicious. Marc ate bison which is the specialty there and everywhere in the area – all the restaurants have it. He enjoyed it. I, however, had salmon – the wild sockeye variety – yum-o!! It had been snowy off and on all day and was freezing so we were thinking it would be more of the same the next day.
Saturday morning we woke up and opened the curtains to a winter wonderland. I guess it had been snowing all night b/c everything was white. It was beautiful. Everywhere we looked was covered in snow!! We were like kids in a candy store since it’s such a novelty for us. We got dressed, took some pics of the scenery from our balcony and then off we went. Our first stop was the hot springs. The name says it all – hot springs gurgle up from deep in the earth and they have made an attraction out of it. There is an outdoor pool which is about 97 degrees (F) and people go swimming!!! I took pictures as I stayed bundled in my coat and gloves – no way was i going to get in a bathing suit and go swimming in 30 degree weather!! I’m sure it would have been great, but when I went home with pneumonia, the novelty would have worn off. The water itself is warm, but the getting in and especially getting out would have been brutal!! And forget getting my hair wet – it would have frozen solid on my head. I digress – we did not go swimming 🙂 Next we went to the gondola which takes you up to the summit of Sulphur Mountain, elev. 7,486ft. I do not like heights and I do not like enclosed spaces, so this little gondola ascending up the mountain high above the ground held only by a cable above was a perfect recipe for a panic attack. Marc really wanted to do this so I agreed, making him swear not to do anything stupid like rock back and forth or make stupid comments about us falling. So I concentrated on taking deep breaths and not thinking about what I was doing and I made the 8 minute ride up to the top. Now that I was there, I seriously considered hiking back down the mountain rather than do it again, but I figured that would be a bad idea. Once up there we went out on the observation platform and admired the view. Of course there wasn’t much of a view of Banff since it was snowing pretty heavily and the clouds were low, but it was beautiful. We went outside and walked along a trail that led to the Cosmic Ray center. I would have loved to see it – but there were about a million wooden steps leading up to it which were all snow covered, so we opted not to go up. We went back to the visitors center had a hot chocolate and headed back down in the gondola. Next we headed into town for lunch at a yummy burger bar which gives you a sheet of paper with lots of options for toppings, cheeses, sauces, buns, even meats. It was very good. We walked and shopped some more then went back to our room and relaxed. This was our last night of vacation (so we thought) and we decided to have a little more casual dinner since we had been going to fancy restaurants almost every night. We ate at a local Italian place – Giorgio’s which turned out to be really good and just what we wanted!! After dinner we went back to the hotel and packed.
Sunday morning we woke up had breakfast, said goodbye to our fabulous room and checked out. Our trip home was from Calgary to Dallas then to Miami. We left the hotel at 10am local time (12noon Miami time) and were scheduled to arrive home at 11pm( Miami time). We had a tight connection in Dallas – only 40 minutes to make our flight so we knew that if your flight was delayed at all, we would not make it. It was the last flight from Dallas to Miami for the night and the only flight out of Calgary that was an option for us on American. So as we got closer to Calgary – we were checking the flight and realized that our plane which was coming from Dallas had not left yet and was held up in Dallas b/c of weather – ruh-roh. By the time we got to the car rental place to return the car, we knew that we were going to miss our connection b/c we were now delayed an hour and a half. We got a call from American telling us that they had re-routed us on Continental through Houston, leaving in an hour!! A little more notice would have been good. We hustled inside the terminal to the Continental desk and they would not let us check in b/c by this point it was under an hour and for an international flight they don’t allow that. Crap. ok over to the American desk to see if there was anything they could do. Nope. No other flights anywhere else that would get us home. So we were stuck. Our only hope of getting home was that our flight from Dallas to Miami would also be delayed. Of course now we had plenty of time to kill at the airport since we were delayed. Once on the plane to Dallas we asked the flight attendant if there was any way of knowing once we got closer if our flight was delayed. She was very nice and said she would check for us and if it was that she would move us up to first class so we could run off the plane first. As we got close and our connection and gate were not announced we knew that we missed our flight 😦 Upon landing we found out the flight had been delayed and left at 7:50pm, we landed at 8pm – that’s right 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!! Luckily marc is a frequent American flyer and has platinum status so we went to the admirals club to have them help us. They were so so nice and gave us a hotel voucher for the airport hyatt and booked us on the first morning flight at 6am to Miami. We trudged up to the hotel without our luggage which had been checked through to Miami so we couldn’t get it. Lovely. So glad I put on clean underwear that morning. The hotel gave us some toiletries like toothbrushes and deodorant and we had dinner at TGIFridays in the terminal – how’s that for gourmet? We went to sleep and prepared for an early day. The alarm rang at 4:30am and the only bright spot about all of this was that we were able to get up get dressed, go though security easily with no bags and no people at that time of the morning and go right to our gate – no driving or checking baggage or anything. We made it home bleary eyed but glad to have arrived at 9:45.
We went through 4 time zones on our trip – pacific, central, mountain, back to central, then eastern. To say that our internal clocks were totally screwy is an understatement!! Overall it was a great trip and I’m glad we went!! Marc and I are self-admitted hotel snobs and stay in nice places, but the Fairmonts – all 3 of them that we stayed in, were by far the nicest hotels we had ever been in. Not just the buildings themselves, but the staff. They were all over the top nice. They went out of their way to make our stays perfect. They were always so nice and friendly. They definitely have a great corporate philosophy and hiring policy. It was not easy being away from Alexis for 10 days, especially for me since I am with her all the time, but it was also a nice break. Since she was with my mom mom I knew that she was in great hands and that she was happy and well taken care of.
Here is a link to my snapfish album with all our pics… Click here
Beginnings of a house
After 20 paint samples, we finally were able to choose the 6 colors we will use in our home. It is impossible to post them here from the websites b/c they don’t look anything like they are supposed to. So, I will have to just desribe them and post pics of them on my wall once they are there. Right now, our house looks like some sort of Jackson Pollock painting with different colored squares all over.
Master bedroom: Upward (sherwin williams) – it’s a light blue gray
Master Bath: Celery (sherwin williams) – pale green, I’m going for a spa-like feel here
Guest Bedroom: Bagel (sherwin williams) – sand color, this room with be a beachy theme we’re getting a white wood daybed with trundle
Alexis Bedroom: Milkyway galaxy (Behr) – soft yellow background on which my parents will be creating a garden room mural with colorful flowers
Playroom: Honeydew (sherwin williams) – light green
Rest of the house: Bone white (Glidden) – warm neutral beige-y color
So far, we have purchased a few things. First appliances. The house has perfectly good appliances right now, but they’re black, and we (ok, I) really want stainless steel, so we were able to get a great deal from BrandsMart on all new GE Profile stainless appliances. I’m going to try and sell the existing ones on Craigslist, except the fridge which we’ll move into the garage and keep as a second fridge.
Cooktop
Dishwasher
Microwave with vent goes over the cooktop
Double oven - top is convection
We also got the LG Steam washer and dryer – in red :
The only piece of furniture we have actually bought so far is a sectional for the family room from Rooms to Go.
We also bought 2 TVs – no pics of those, but they’re the Samsung LEDs, the ads for them have the hummingbird. They’re super thin. The one for the family room is 55″ and the one for our bedroom is 46″.
Stay tuned for more updates…
Time to go shopping!!!
I have a ton of unused gift cards from last Christmas. Of course I was pregnant then so I wasn’t going to go buy clothes for my non-pregnant self. Then I refused to buy clothes until I reached my goal weight. I had to buy a few things that fit me so that I could get dressed every day, but not a lot. So now, seven and a half months after Alexis was born I am at my goal weight!! I weigh what I did when I got married and that’s 10 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight. So now I can go spend all that money I have and get some cute things for my trip to Hawaii!!!
Now the trick is to not let myself slowly creep back up!!!!!
Home Improvements
Since Marc and I are thinking of selling our house and moving to Broward we have started doing some minor home improvemetns that we think will improve the look of the house without costing an arm and a leg. These are also things that if we decide notto move for now, will just make the house look nicer for us!
This weekend we added hardware to our kitchen cabinets. They never had them. The cabinets were the kind that could be opened without a handle but there were many times that my hand slipped and I chipped a nail. So they were needed. We installed them ourselves – I did the measuring and marking and Marc did the drilling. I think they came out great! I am really happy with how they look. Also in the kitchen, we bought a garbage can that goes in the cabinets and slides out so that’s one less thing that needs to be out making it look cluttered.
We also changes the knobs in our bathroom and the guest bathroom. I don’t have pictures of those but we replaced the plastic ones that were the same color as the cabinets with nice chrome ones that have some detail on them. Not a huge change but a nice one. Along the bathroom front, we very badly needed to organize the area under the sink and the catch-all drawer in our bathroom. I went through and got rid of junk a couple weeks ago but we still needed something for organizational purposes. We went to The Container Store (one of my favorite places) and got these really neat Rubbermaid storage bins that you screw to the bottom of the cabinet and they slide in and out and they’re stackable. So, now I can slide it out and grab all my stuff instead of having to bend down and reach all the way to the back. Very innovative!
New wardrobe..again!
I took on the monumental task of washing and putting out all of Alexis’s 6-9 month size clothes and put away or give away the 3-6 month clothes. She had outgrown the 3-6 month sizes a couple weeks ago but I hadn’t gotten around to switching yet because of all the washing involved. Yes, I still pre-wash all of her clothes. I get creeped out b/c she puts everything in her mouth including outfits so I want to make sure that I wash away germs and anything else from whoever had handled the clothes in the stores.
I digress. My point is that Alexis now has a completely new wardrobe! Again! This will be her 4th set and she’s only 5 months old!! First she had all the newborn clothes, then 0-3, 3-6! I wish I could get all new clothes every few months!! Of course it’s fun for me to play dress-up with her and see all the adorable new outfits I get to put on her. She has an abundance of clothes and as I was putting away her old ones, I was looking at outfits she only wore once!!
Organics and Natural Products
I’ve been using Green Works cleaning products lately and I’m very happy with them. They are not more expensive than the regular cleaners but they’re better for you and your family and the environment. They clean just as well as anything else. What I like about them is that they do not have a harsh chemical smell I don’t have to worry about the baby or the cat ingesting chemicals when they put something in their mouth.
I have also started giving Alexis baby foods and I’m feeding her the Gerber Organic stuff. I just feel better about it. I am going to start making my own baby food as soon as I test out each flavor and make sure she doesn’t have any allergies. I wish that I lived closer to Whole Foods or Fresh Market I really would shop there. I feel like being a parent has made me more aware of these things. I buy organic at Publix but the line is limited and there are still a lot of non-organic food that I have to buy. It’s a little more expensive but I feel that the benefit outweighs the cost.
:::Stepping off my soapbox:::
Keeping myself accountable
I went to Jenny Craig this morning to weigh in. I hadn’t gone in 2 weeks so I was overdue. Those 2 weeks were not good diet weeks. With the surgery and being at my mom’s house etc, I just wasn’t good. I know those are excuses but its true! So I didn’t do as badly as I had thought and I only gained 8oz (yay!). I was expecting it to be more like 2 pounds! That’s a lesson to me though that the diet gods may not be so nice next time around. So I need to re-focus myself and really be good and eat the JC foods and not cheat!!!
Hopefully by next weeks’s weigh-in I will have lost those 8oz plus more!!!
On a positive note, I truly cannot wear my size 14 shorts anymore. Those are the shorts that I bought immediately after having the baby and being sick and tired of maternity clothes. I was horrified at having to buy 14s, but there it was. Slowly I have gone down, I bought a pair of size 12s but never bought any 10s. I have recently bought 2 size 8s (woo-hoo!!) They’re a bit snug but they fit. I put on the 14s today to go out and they are literally falling off. I have to pull them up every 5 seconds – not comfy. So I am almost back to my pp size 6 and I can’t wait!!!!!
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