Alone again

July 14, 2008 at 1:29 pm (Baby, Marriage, Random, Travel) (, , , )

Marc is off on another trip, this one is short he comes back tomorrow night – very late though (after midnight) so I’m alone for 2 days.   I knew when I married him that he traveled for work a lot, so its nothing new to me.  After becoming a mom its a lot more difficult being alone.  I really look forward to him coming home from work so that I can get a break even if it’s only for a short time.  So having to be a single parent for 2 full days is exhausting!! I definitely find things to do to occupy myself and I do get out of the house, but it’s still just me.  If Alexis wakes up in the middle of the night, I can’t poke him and ask him to go check on her, that’s my job.

Then of course there’s the totally irrational fears I have.  I will preface this by saying I lived alone for 4 years before I moved in with Marc – 2 years with a roommate and 2 years with just my cat! No alarm and I lived in a duplex so I didn’t even have the “security” of a building with lots of people.  I never minded it.  But I think I’ve become accostomed to having someone around.  So the nights when Marc is not here, I hear every sound and jump at shadows! It’s totally unlike me.  But I can’t help it.  We do have a great alarm system which I turn on.  We live in a gated community and have off-duty police that patrol our neighborhood, so by all accounts I’m safe, but I still feel safer with someone else around!! So I know the next evening and a half will be a bit anxiety-ridden.

Lest you think it’s all bad though, there is an upside.  I like the peace and quiet.  There is the tranquility of being able to do whatever I want and just sit and read a book or watch my TiVoed shows.  So, it’s not awful and I do enjoy some alone time, just not at night!!!!

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