The Internet is not just for dating anymore!

May 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm (Friends, Parenting) (, )

This post is about friendship.  The title is because I have met a lot of my friends via the Internet.

I first started posting on the Knot when I got engaged and met people through there.  But I never really made friendships.  Then after I was married I transferred over to the Nest.  That’s when I got to know some of the girls better.  Most were still Internet – only but now I had a group of friends who I spoke to regularly and met for lunch and even one who was a neighbor!!! I still referred to them as my Internet friends.  Then when I got pregnant I went over to the Nest Baby (now the Bump) and the friendships grew deeper and I met even more friends.  Now almost 4 years after I got engaged I have a whole new circle of friends.  They are no longer Internet friends.  They are friends.  I make no distinction anymore.  I call them, email them.  These are women who are mothers of young children, they know what I’m dealing with.  I can confide in them.  They are truly special to me.

This does not make my other friends less important, only different.  I have extremely close friends who I was friends with in college and immediately after.  When I was single and dating,  having a close group of friends was my whole life.  We were family to each other.  We never made a move without consulting each other.  These were not only women, but also guy friends.  We spent every weekend together, and also many a night finishing off a few bottles of wine and listening to music and just talking.  These were my friends during a very important part of my life and even though some are married, some not yet, we remain friends and talk all the time.  Of course we also reminisce.

Then there are my friends who really know me.  The ones I’ve had since elementary school.  There are only a few of these, but these are the really deep friendships.  The people who have seen me grow up, who used to come over and play.  These are the people who have been there for 8th grade graduation, homecomings, proms, first boyfriends, heartbreak.  There is a bond  there that no one can touch.  I feel special knowing I have these people in my life.  And yes they are still in my life – we talk, we see each other, we will always be part of each others lives.

I’m lucky to have so many special people in my life.  And I love that I am adding new friends to my life, while keeping the old ones.  I’m so happy that my “internet friends” have now become friends 🙂

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May 13, 2006

May 13, 2009 at 9:33 am (Uncategorized)

M&L

3 years.  Wow.  I know in the large picture 3 years is nothing, but to me it sounds like a long time.  It feels like we just got married.  I still see us as newly married.  Not that we act like newlyweds anymore, just that we have only been married for a little while.  So when I think 3 YEARS I can’t believe it’s true.

Since Marc is out of town we cheated and celebrated early.  We spent the night Saturday at the Viceroy on Brickell and went out to dinner.  And what did the parents of a toddler do on the night alone – came back to the hotel by 10:30pm right after dinner and enjoyed a very nice night of uninterrupted sleep!!!!! ::::yawn:::: I know quite different from our younger days, but hey priorities change!!

We have had (and still have) our share of growing pains.  Since this is the only time I’ve been married I can only assume this is normal.  I keep hoping it will get easier one of these days, but the stressors of like keep popping up so there’s always one more thing!  Looking at that picture of us on our wedding night 3 years ago I didn’t know what waited ahead for me.  I didn’t know that I would have a wonderful daughter or be a stay at home mom.  I didn’t know that I would be living with my parents while house hunting.  I didn’t know how difficult it was to sustain a marriage and how much work it took on a daily basis.  The compromise, the biting of the tongue.  It’s a constant learning curve, learning about me, about Marc, about “us”.  Because that’s the biggest part of marriage isn’t it?  Becoming “us”.  Sure I’m still me.  But not in the same way.  I can no longer think long term just about me, it will always be “us” even though “us” is now 3, not 2.

I don’t know what lies ahead.  I could not even guess at what our life will be like next year, much less 3 years from now!! All I know is that I’m up for the challenge.  I’m looking forward to what the next step is, the next surprise and what will be around the next corner.  I do know that I like the security that comes with being married.  I love knowing that I have a partner who is always there for me.  Yes, it’s been hard, maybe harder for us than it should be.  We definitely have strong personalities who clash on a regular basis.  But if I could tell that girl in the wedding dress what it’s been like over the last 3 years would I tell her to run for the hills or walk down the aisle?  I would tell her to walk down the aisle b/c it’s all worth it.   So I am committed to building a life together as a family.  I still love my husband – more so and in a very different way now than I did then!

Happy Anniversay Honey!!!!!  Thanks for a rollercoaster of a ride so far!! We’re still going up the hill and waiting for the crest so we can start coasting the rest of the way!!

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Happy Mother’s Day!

May 11, 2009 at 10:18 am (Baby, Family, Parenting) (, , , )

Mother's Day 2008

Mother's Day 2008

Mother's Day 2009

Mother's Day 2009

What a difference a year makes!!! Last year Alexis was just over 2 months old on Mother’s Day.  She was still a little blob who didn’t do a whole lot.  This year however a whole different story.  She is a person.   A walking (somewhat) talking person!  I think in the year between my first and second Mother’s Day I have gained a different understanding of motherhood and what it really is.  It’s no longer only being caretaker – feeding, changing, bathing, etc.  It’s still those things but so much more.  Now that Alexis says Mama and looks for me and comes over to me.   I’m not just the person who takes care of basic needs, I’m Mama.

There is also the aspect of being a daughter and granddaughter who is now also a mother.  Instead of only celebrating my mom and grandmother, they are now celebrating me!!

Mother’s Day has always been special to me but now it has new meaning.

So to all the wonderful mommies, mommies to be, mommies in spirit, and anyone else – Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did I win the fertility lottery?

May 6, 2009 at 10:00 am (Baby, Family, Friends, Parenting) (, , )

There are things in life that are not fair, I know that.  Fertility seems to be one of those things.  It was extremely easy for my husband and I to conceive Alexis.  We decided to start trying and boom! pregnant first month.  I never had to experience the let down of negative tests, the month after month of disappointment.  I had the usual nerves during my first trimester but everything was fine.  I don’t know the heartbreak of losing a pregnancy.  I don’t know what it feels like to have to “un-tell”.  I am grateful and lucky.  My daughter is perfect and beautiful.

However, many of the closest people to me have a different experience.  At least 5 of my friends had to see fertility specialists in order to conceive and some still have not been able to.   Countless others have lost pregnancies.  There is no reason for this and it’s not fair.  Why did I win the fertility lottery while they struggle?  I feel guilty around them because I don’t know how I would feel if i were in their shoes.  I don’t know if I would be able to be genuinely happy for my friend who so easily has something that I have wanted and can’t have.  They are all strong women and deserving of motherhood.  I only wish it were as easy for them as it was for me.

I know there are no answers to this and I know that they would not wish their struggles on me.  I guess it just gives me something else to be grateful for and that I should count my blessings because things could always be different.

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