Speaking up

May 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm (Opinion, Parenting, Random)

I’m 32.  I don’t have an issue with that, and I certainly don’t feel old, quite the opposite actually. But,  I have learned some things along my way to 32.  I’m not going to go on and on about wisdom and experience because I know that there is still a lot of that left out there for me to learn.   I am going to talk about one particular aspect of getting older that I’ve noticed.  I don’t care as much what other people think anymore.  I’ve never been a particularly shy person.  I have been known to speak my mind and I’ve never been one to back down from a confrontation.  In high school I was voted Most Outspoken and I was president of my speech and debate team. But even I would sometimes bow to peer pressure and popular opinion.  Or I would laugh at jokes that I thought were offensive or not say anything if someone was talking badly about a friend.  Not so anymore.

I am so much more secure in who I am now than I was.  This did not happen overnight, nor was there one catalyst.  It was a gradual change, but one that I have really taken notice of recently.  I know who I am.  People can like me or not.  I hope they will respect me for speaking my mind and standing up for what I believe, because I do those things passionately.  I am offended by racist jokes and comments.  And there was a time where I would just smile and nod, now I will speak up.  It may be embarrassing to the offending person, but that’s their problem not mine, I won’t tolerate it.   I will not stand for anyone hurting my friends or talking badly about them in my presence.  I can hold a grudge and I will speak my mind.  I have been a liberal even when that was a bad word,  I will continue to be liberal.  I do believe that anyone who is pro-life and pro death penalty is a huge hypocrite.  I think anyone who is a bad tipper is a bad person.  It may be a small thing, but it’s a good measure of a person’s character in my opinion.  I have no tolerance for stupidity or ignorance.

Opinionated, stubborn, argumentative are all words that have been used to describe me – no problem.   I don’t like women who back down out of habit, even when they know they’re right.  I don’t think crying is an acceptable form of expressing an opinion or reacting when angry or confronted.  Cry when you’re sad or hurt, but for god’s sake please don’t cry when arguing with someone or in a professional setting!!! Nothing makes me roll my eyes more than that.  Don’t change your opinion and position depending on the person with whom you are speaking.  No one will take you seriously.

I don’t need everyone to like me.  I know that as a teenager it was important to me that people like me and that I was doing things that were in line with the majority of my friends.  And I know that’s a very typical trait for a teenager.  I have outgrown that.  I’m ok if someone doesn’t like me because of something I may have said, clearly I don’t want them around anyway.  I don’t tell people what they want to hear, I will be honest.  It’s very obvious when someone is “fishing” they will ask a question or make a comment in a certain way in order to get a response that they feel backs up their opinion.  Well, I don’t want to play that game.  If I’m upset or angry with someone, the best way to handle it is by letting them know, not letting everyone BUT that person know.

As the mother to a daughter, I do hope that she grows up to be strong-willed and opinionated and learns to speak her mind.  I already see those things in her, even at 2.  And as much as it frustrates me to have a strong-willed toddler, I would choose that every single day over one who acquiesces because I know that as an adult, speaking one’s mind is a trait that I admire.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: