A new decade has begun… can we go back?

January 2, 2010 at 10:49 am (Family, Friends, Marriage, Uncategorized)

This is a blog post I didn’t think I would be writing.  This is not a reality I thought I would be facing.  It should not be.  People my age should not be widows.  It’s not right.  Little 2 year old boys should not lose fathers.  Something in the universe did not work properly yesterday to allow this to happen.

My friend Gary had been battling Lymphoma courageously and had completed his course of chemo.   He was declared basically cancer-free.  He and his wife, Samantha believed they were in the home stretch of their battle.

Until Christmas Day.  Of all days.

Samantha had to take Gary to the ER believing that he was suffering from dehydration and needed IV fluids.  Never in her worst nightmares did she think that he would not walk out of the hospital, like he had done numerous times before.  Nothing prepared her for the week that would follow.  Gary was taken from the ER to ICU in kidney failure and diagnosed with pneumonia.  He did not show symptoms of being so sick.  The night before he was having fun at a Christmas Eve celebration with friends!  It came out of left field.  From there the roller coaster began- no need to detail the ups and downs that would become the way of life for Sam in the coming week.  She spent the final minutes of 2009 holding his hand welcoming in a new year, a new decade.  When she went home, she believed that New Year’s Day would be a new day.  She did not imagine the phone would ring in the early dawn hours.  She did not expect the call from the hospital to come right away.

When my phone rang before 7am and I saw the caller ID, I knew it wasn’t good.  I was at the hospital in minutes.  As I was walking into ICU as I had done several times in the past week, I heard it.  I heard crying.  Not just sad cries.  The cries of something tragic.  I knew.  I didn’t need to be told.  My friend Sam had just become a widow, Gary’s mother had lost her only child.  They, along with Sam’s mom, were destroyed.  It was a terrible scene.

Now the really hard part begins for Sam.  Planning a funeral for her 33 year-old husband.  Picking up the pieces.  Starting a new life as a single mom.  Raising her son without his dad.  I, along with so many other friends, will be by her side helping to support her and helping her figure out her new place, but it will not be easy.  And it’s not something that I thought that one of my friends would have to go through.

Gary will be missed.  He was very smart, funny, caring, kind.  He was a wonderful husband to Samantha and an excellent father to Mikey.

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