When did I become a mom?

August 11, 2008 at 5:08 pm (Baby, Parenting, Uncategorized) (, )

Was it when I was pregnant?  When Alexis was born?  Or some other time?  Well, I guess technically I was a mom when I got pregnant, when I started doing things for the yet-to-be known human growing inside me.  I changed the way I ate, what i drank, medicines I took, and I was always a bit more careful with my actions.  Once I found out I was having a girl, I was able to connect more and really begin to “see” the baby.  Then when Alexis was born and it was a real baby, a baby I could hold then I really was a mom.  I had to sign papers that said so!

But I really think it happened later than that.  The first few weeks are crazy.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I was feeding and changing like I was supposed to.  I would pick her up when she cried, but I really didn’t know what to do.  I had no confidence, when she cried I had no idea why she was crying, I was guessing.  She thrived and got bigger and did what she was supposed to be doing so I guess I was doing things right.  But boy I was not sure back then.  I could not look on that time with the perspective I have now and think it will get better, things aren’t always this crazy.   So, recently I realized that I’m a mom.  I know what I’m doing.  I’m confident in my decisions.  I have gotten Alexis to sleep through the nigth sucessfully.  I have gotten her moved to her crib from her bassinet and I got her to nap in her crib when previously she would only nap in her swing.  I make decisions based on my knowledge of my daughter.  I don’t feel like I need to ask my mom / friends for their approval on whether I’m doing things right.  Not that I don’t still ask b/c I still like having advice from those who have been there.  I know what I’m doing is right.  When Alexis cries these days, I can *usually* tell why – hunger, tiredness, grouchiness, etc.  Not always of course, but more often than not.  Alexis has become a central part of my life and I can’t remember before she was around!  Now, I feel like I’m a mom, not just someone with a baby.  She knows me, looks for me when I’m not around.  I’m sure it’s different for everyone, I ‘m sure there are some who feel like the minute they find out they’re pregnant.  But for me, while I loved her from the moment I knew she existed, I didn’t feel like mom until later!

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. kimmiebr80 said,

    awwww….. very nicely written 🙂 it took me quite a while to feel like a mom. I definatley didn’t feel like one when I got pregnant. I can almost say that it didn’t ‘click’ until they called me mama. Before that, it almost felt like I was living someone elses life and looking through their eyes. Weird, I know.. and probably a little ppd or just overwhelemed related, but it’s the truth. I definatley feel like a mom now, though!

  2. Melanie said,

    I can totally relate, Leanna! It never seemed real until she was here, and then the beginning was such a blur of diapers and bottles, I was like a mom robot! Now that i “know” her and she “knows” me, I really feel like her mommy! Every morning when I get her out of the crib and she smiles at me, it’s like, yep, mommmmmmy is here! I totally get what you’re saying!

  3. mellymelb said,

    The part about not feeling like you need advice to know what to do anymore is so true. I feel like, “I got this” and though I still like POV and (and get them whether I ask or not) and still get stumped enough to ask (trust me, it will happen) I still feel confident enough in my decisions to know which way to go and to know its the right decision.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: