The Internet is not just for dating anymore!
This post is about friendship. The title is because I have met a lot of my friends via the Internet.
I first started posting on the Knot when I got engaged and met people through there. But I never really made friendships. Then after I was married I transferred over to the Nest. That’s when I got to know some of the girls better. Most were still Internet – only but now I had a group of friends who I spoke to regularly and met for lunch and even one who was a neighbor!!! I still referred to them as my Internet friends. Then when I got pregnant I went over to the Nest Baby (now the Bump) and the friendships grew deeper and I met even more friends. Now almost 4 years after I got engaged I have a whole new circle of friends. They are no longer Internet friends. They are friends. I make no distinction anymore. I call them, email them. These are women who are mothers of young children, they know what I’m dealing with. I can confide in them. They are truly special to me.
This does not make my other friends less important, only different. I have extremely close friends who I was friends with in college and immediately after. When I was single and dating, having a close group of friends was my whole life. We were family to each other. We never made a move without consulting each other. These were not only women, but also guy friends. We spent every weekend together, and also many a night finishing off a few bottles of wine and listening to music and just talking. These were my friends during a very important part of my life and even though some are married, some not yet, we remain friends and talk all the time. Of course we also reminisce.
Then there are my friends who really know me. The ones I’ve had since elementary school. There are only a few of these, but these are the really deep friendships. The people who have seen me grow up, who used to come over and play. These are the people who have been there for 8th grade graduation, homecomings, proms, first boyfriends, heartbreak. There is a bond there that no one can touch. I feel special knowing I have these people in my life. And yes they are still in my life – we talk, we see each other, we will always be part of each others lives.
I’m lucky to have so many special people in my life. And I love that I am adding new friends to my life, while keeping the old ones. I’m so happy that my “internet friends” have now become friends 
May 13, 2006
3 years. Wow. I know in the large picture 3 years is nothing, but to me it sounds like a long time. It feels like we just got married. I still see us as newly married. Not that we act like newlyweds anymore, just that we have only been married for a little while. So when I think 3 YEARS I can’t believe it’s true.
Since Marc is out of town we cheated and celebrated early. We spent the night Saturday at the Viceroy on Brickell and went out to dinner. And what did the parents of a toddler do on the night alone – came back to the hotel by 10:30pm right after dinner and enjoyed a very nice night of uninterrupted sleep!!!!! ::::yawn:::: I know quite different from our younger days, but hey priorities change!!
We have had (and still have) our share of growing pains. Since this is the only time I’ve been married I can only assume this is normal. I keep hoping it will get easier one of these days, but the stressors of like keep popping up so there’s always one more thing! Looking at that picture of us on our wedding night 3 years ago I didn’t know what waited ahead for me. I didn’t know that I would have a wonderful daughter or be a stay at home mom. I didn’t know that I would be living with my parents while house hunting. I didn’t know how difficult it was to sustain a marriage and how much work it took on a daily basis. The compromise, the biting of the tongue. It’s a constant learning curve, learning about me, about Marc, about “us”. Because that’s the biggest part of marriage isn’t it? Becoming “us”. Sure I’m still me. But not in the same way. I can no longer think long term just about me, it will always be “us” even though “us” is now 3, not 2.
I don’t know what lies ahead. I could not even guess at what our life will be like next year, much less 3 years from now!! All I know is that I’m up for the challenge. I’m looking forward to what the next step is, the next surprise and what will be around the next corner. I do know that I like the security that comes with being married. I love knowing that I have a partner who is always there for me. Yes, it’s been hard, maybe harder for us than it should be. We definitely have strong personalities who clash on a regular basis. But if I could tell that girl in the wedding dress what it’s been like over the last 3 years would I tell her to run for the hills or walk down the aisle? I would tell her to walk down the aisle b/c it’s all worth it. So I am committed to building a life together as a family. I still love my husband – more so and in a very different way now than I did then!
Happy Anniversay Honey!!!!! Thanks for a rollercoaster of a ride so far!! We’re still going up the hill and waiting for the crest so we can start coasting the rest of the way!!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Mother's Day 2008
Mother's Day 2009
What a difference a year makes!!! Last year Alexis was just over 2 months old on Mother’s Day. She was still a little blob who didn’t do a whole lot. This year however a whole different story. She is a person. A walking (somewhat) talking person! I think in the year between my first and second Mother’s Day I have gained a different understanding of motherhood and what it really is. It’s no longer only being caretaker – feeding, changing, bathing, etc. It’s still those things but so much more. Now that Alexis says Mama and looks for me and comes over to me. I’m not just the person who takes care of basic needs, I’m Mama.
There is also the aspect of being a daughter and granddaughter who is now also a mother. Instead of only celebrating my mom and grandmother, they are now celebrating me!!
Mother’s Day has always been special to me but now it has new meaning.
So to all the wonderful mommies, mommies to be, mommies in spirit, and anyone else – Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did I win the fertility lottery?
There are things in life that are not fair, I know that. Fertility seems to be one of those things. It was extremely easy for my husband and I to conceive Alexis. We decided to start trying and boom! pregnant first month. I never had to experience the let down of negative tests, the month after month of disappointment. I had the usual nerves during my first trimester but everything was fine. I don’t know the heartbreak of losing a pregnancy. I don’t know what it feels like to have to “un-tell”. I am grateful and lucky. My daughter is perfect and beautiful.
However, many of the closest people to me have a different experience. At least 5 of my friends had to see fertility specialists in order to conceive and some still have not been able to. Countless others have lost pregnancies. There is no reason for this and it’s not fair. Why did I win the fertility lottery while they struggle? I feel guilty around them because I don’t know how I would feel if i were in their shoes. I don’t know if I would be able to be genuinely happy for my friend who so easily has something that I have wanted and can’t have. They are all strong women and deserving of motherhood. I only wish it were as easy for them as it was for me.
I know there are no answers to this and I know that they would not wish their struggles on me. I guess it just gives me something else to be grateful for and that I should count my blessings because things could always be different.
Let them eat cake!!
Disclaimer: this is only my opinion – no offense to any mommies out there.
I was just reading one of the message boards I frequent filled with moms of Toddlers from 12-24 months and a mom posted a “dilemma” her word, not mine, because she didn’t know what to give her daughter for her birthday cake. Come on! Give her cake. I am all about being health conscious and teaching Alexis to eat healthy. I buy organic when I can and make sure that she eats fruits and vegetables every day. It has paid off because she is a great eater. She loves broccoli, asparagus, corn, tomatoes, etc. Not to mention all variety of fruits. She has fish once a week and all the other meats.
However, I do allow her to have “junk food” also. When we go out to eat I will give her french fries – not an entire order but a few. I control what she eats not her. So as long as she is eating whatever food I got her then she can have a few french fries. She likes them. She has also had cookies, chocolate, cake, and (gasp!) cake batter! I believe in moderation and I know how happy chocolate makes me so why not allow my daughter to indulge a bit. Again, as long as it is in moderation and as long as she eats the healthy food as well. I think it’s important to have variety and that includes the bad stuff! There are a few things that I will not allow – soda is one of them. I do not think there is anything even slightly good about drinking soda so I will keep her away from that as long as possible.
I know there is an obesity epidemic and kids are heavier than ever which is why I do believe in moderation. When I take her to fast food places, I opt for the healthy options for her – the apple fries, milk, I take half the bread off the cheeseburger and make sure she has tomoato on the burger. When she’s old enough, I will enroll her in sports to make sure that she is not a sedentary child.
Anyway, I say, Let them eat cake!!!!! They are kids after all
Move, Pictures, SEO
Ok lots of topics in one post. I guess that’s what happens when I don’t blog for almost 2 months!!!!!
First – we now have a new home, temporarily anyway. We sold our house 6 weeks after we put it on the market and decided that it would be wise to move in with my parents until we find a house instead of rushing to find one. We sold our house furnished so luckily we didn’t have to store all of our furniture along with our belongings. We packed up all our stuff in the midst of working 2 weeks at the SEO (more on that later), put most of it in storage and are now happily settled into our new digs. i gotta say I’m pretty happy here. Not that I could live with my parents indefinitely, but it is nice to be back in my old neighborhood amongst family and friends – there’s something familiar and comforting about it. We start the house hunt in earnest this weekend and I’m sure we will find the perfect home for us I loved my old home but it never felt like “home” to me. Marc was the one who chose the house long before we began dating and I moved in with him to his house and it always felt that way. So while I really liked the house it will be nice to have a house that is truly “ours”.
Next – pictures! I am very fortunate to have a talented friend who is also a photographer, Stephanie Sokol!! I wanted to have some professional photos taken of Alexis before her first birthday and I could not be happier with the way these turned out. Here is the link to the photos www.stephaniesokol.smugmug.com and here is the link to Stephanie’s blog http://www.stephaniesokol.blogspot.com/
Lastly, Sony Ericsson Open. This was my 9th year working at the tournament. I started there as the Special Events Manager as a full time employee and have since transitioned to tournament only staff and for the past 3 years I have been the Stadium Court Producer – responsible for all music, contests, ceremonies, etc that happen on stadium court. I absolutely love what I do there and I love the people who I see from year to year. The downside – the hours. It’s a killer. It’s 12 days of long hours. I was there about 14 hours a day on average. Marc and I met there – he’s in charge of the Ballperson program so he has the same killer hours as I do – he is actully there about 3 hours before I am in the morning so neither one of us is around too much for Alexis. Luckily we were able to stay with my parents and they stepped in, along with other family members to act as surrogate parents while we were away! As an added bonus this year, we were closing on our house just over a week after the end of the tournament. So in the week that we usually recover from the exhaustion, we had to pack our house and get ready for he move. So now we are finally getting to relax and catch our breath a bit!!!!!
Happy Birthday Alexis!
Wow. One year. That’s how long Alexis has been in my life (on the outside). It seems surreal. I’m writing this on Feb. 23rd but the actual birthday was the 21st. So exactly one year ago today, I was bringing Alexis home with me. What a huge difference a year makes. I remember bringing her home – all floppy and new. Eating every 4 hours. The intense sleep deprivation. The constant second- guessing myself. Not knowing what I was doing with this new little person who I was responsible for!! She was so teeny, so fragile.
Fast forward one year. She is a bundle of energy. She does not sit still for a second. She doesn’t want to be carried anymore – preferring to be on the ground. She is mobile. In addition to crawling – she takes steps. I don’t want to call it walking, because it’s not really walking. She will take 3 or 4 steps at a time and then plop down. She can “walk” when she’s holding my hand or holding on to something, but when its just her – just those few steps. Other major accomplishments this month she can stand up by herself. Like she can go from sitting to standing without needing to pull herself up on anything – she just crouches then stands up. She is also drinking Soy milk – no more formula. I wanted to switch her to Soy first since she was drinking soy formula. But she is fine eating whole milk products like yogurt and cheese, so I think I’ll start transitioning to regular milk, instead of soy. She is also using sippy cups for milk. She had been using the sippy straw cups for juice and water but didn’t want to drink milk out of anything other than a bottle. But when I stopped giving her formula, I also stopped using bottles and it was pretty easy. She does fine with them. I do still give her a bottle before bed but I think I’ll get rid of that one this week. She does not, however, hold the cups herself, she still wants me to give it to her. I tried. And she’ll do it if she has to. But if I put her on the couch with her cup, she will scoot herself over to me and sit on my lap – how can I possibly say no to that!!!! I actually asked the pediatrician if it’s a big deal that she doesn’t hold the sippy herself for milk and she said not at all. (more on the Dr visit later) And she eats just about everything. I have not found a food that she doesn’t like. I give her waffles, toast, or pancakes for breakfast with yogurt. I have also been giving her a lot of fruits and veggies b/c I think it’s important that she be exposed to them so that she can be a healthy eater. So she eats tomatoes, broccoli, peas, carrots, corn, etc. Fruits – really just about everything; peach, pear, grapes, blueberry, raspberry, strawberry, all variety of melons, oranges, mangoes. Same goes for cheese and meats. I have not given her steak b/c I don’t think she’s ready. Also the Dr said i can start giving her eggs and seafood now, so I’ll be trying those.
We had her 12 month check-up today and it was great. She’s 22.5 pounds and 30 inches which is 75th % for height and weight. She is doing well and doing everything she is supposed to be doing now. The pediatrician said she’s healty, curious, has good muscle tone and dexterity, etc. Nothing bad. She said to wait on nuts, peanut butter, and shellfish until age 2, other than that she can eat anything. Also this was the visit I was dreading b/c of 2 shots that I was not looking forward to – MMR and Chicken Pox. I wanted to wait for the Chicken Pox and I was hesitant about MMR – definitely on the fence. I spoke to the Dr about it at length and I trust her. So final decision is that I gave her the MMR, but not chicken pox. I will give her the chicken pox later, but not now. She also got a TB test. I’m skipping the flu vaccine. I hadn’t done it yet and now flu season is almost over with no flu (knock on wood). We’ll see next year about that one.
I will write about the birthday party later this week…
Grown Up Valentine’s Day
No, this is no x-rated.
I was thinking the other day about how different Valentine’s Day has become. When I was little, my dad would always get me flowers and a gift. I was always his Valentine. He would bring home a dozen roses for my mom and a single one for me. I loved it.
Then in high school it was always about putting things on lockers. Balloons, cards, etc. I would decorate my boyfriends locker and he would decorate mine. Walking through the halls was like a big circus of red and pink mylar!! It was fun and exciting!!
Then in my early 20’s it was all dependent on whether I was dating someone. If I was – then I was concerend with dinner reservations and what he was getting me. If I was single – then it was boycotting the holiday by drinking with my other single girlfriends. I think I had more fun the years I was single!!!!!
Now, married and a mom- it’s almost an afterthought. I feel so old, but I hate going out to dinner on Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to wait and have to choose from a limited menu and have crappy service from a waiter who is trying to hurry me out. Alexis is still too little to be excited about any holiday, so that’s not fun yet, maybe next year? As for our plans – well I guess we’re going to grill some lobster tails and have a nice dinner at home, exchange some small gifts. I know it’s supposed to be about celebrating your love and call me cynical but after being together for 5 years (5 years!!!) it has lost some of its pizzaz. Since we live together and are married, it’s different than when we were dating and it was a special night to be together and be in love. Ok, I am cynical.
Don’t get me wrong – i love holidays and I will wear my shirt with the heart on the front and my heart earrings on Saturday b/c that’s just me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the anticipation is not the same. Although I really do like lobster tails
*Update* My husband read this and was offended b/c he felt that I was ignoring him and not acting like I was in love. So, for him let me clarify, yes I am in love and will celebrate that. What I mean is that things change through the years. And it has become a comfortable love, instead of something new. Not bad, just different.
Confessions
Here goes:
I let Alexis watch TV even though the American Academy of Pediatrics says no TV until age 2. Sometimes it just helps me get things done, I can fold laundry or wash dishes. I don’t let her eatch tv all day long and I don’t let her watch inappropriate shows, but she likes Yo Gabba Gabba, Backyardigans, and the Sprout channel and she also likes Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy!.
I bring Alexis into bed with me when I’m too exhausted to help her fall back asleep. This is not something that I do frequently, but if she wakes in the middle of the night and will not fall back asleep usually due to teething pain, I do not have the heart to let her cry so I bring her into bed until she falls back asleep. Or if she wakes too early in the morning, she comes into bed. She usually wakes up between 8 – 8:30 sometimes earlier. I will get up if it’s at least 7:30, but any earlier I just can’t do it, so she comes into bed.
I give her food she shouldn’t be eating yet. Chocolate, mainly. Yes, most of the time she eats healthy but if I’m having something yummy i give her a taste.
I have 2 blankets in her crib and they have been there since she has been in there. Actually, I covered her with a blanket in her bassinet b/c she hated being swaddled. Even when I did swaddle her with her arms out, I still added an additional blanket. Our house is cold and I didn’t want her to be cold. When I put her in the crib, I would tuck the blanket into the mattress at the bottom of the crib. By that point she was able to pick herself up and she would cry if anything happened to her. I would check on her at first to make sure she was ok and she was so I felt comfortable leaving it there. Now the blankets are a bit heavier since it’s cooler outside.
I also have bumpers in her crib. They are not only cute, but they keep her from bumping her head. See above for picking her head up, rolling over, and crying if there was an issue.
I know a lot of these things are no-nos but I’m the mom and I would not do anything that I felt would be dangerous to Alexis. So there it’s out I’ve confessed!!!!
Alexis is 11 months old today!!!!
One more month and the first year is over – it’s incredible!! She has gotten so big it’s hard to believe. She is extremely active these days. She crawls all over the place, she stands without support and she cruises a lot. She’ll be walking soon I’m sure. She is talking more also – she says bye-bye, leche, and sometime she says upa (spanish for “up”). She definitely has a strong personality and knows what she wants. She likes being on the floor most of the time playing with her toys. She can also eat with a spoon now. Not well, but she can do it. When I put food on the spoon, she knows how to put it into ther mouth to eat. She is a very good eater and I still haven’t found anything she won’t eat. She has 8 teeth – 4 top and 4 bottom and her molars are starting to come in but haven’t yet broken through. She’s a lot of fun and likes to giggle and laugh. She is very vocal. She is also very squirmy and makes changing her extremely difficult! The minute I lay her down she flips over and tried to get away so it’s always a fight changing her. Luckily I stopped using a changing table a long time ago and I just use the floor. I haven’t weighed her really, but I put her on our scale and it said 21 pounds which sounds right. That’s about it. I’m planning her 1st birthday party now and I just can’t believe how fast this first year has gone by!!!
